In Memoriam
Ronald
Ronald Wheeler... random thoughts and memories of Ronald by Elaine Wheeler Brickner
I first met Ronald over Labor Day weekend in 1987.
Dale, Ronald’s youngest brother, and I had recently gotten married in Portland, Oregon. At that time Dale was living in Concord and working in Benicia with Ronald but I needed to stay in Portland until I completed a project at work and sold the house. Luckily neither took too long to complete and I was able to move down to be with Dale.
We went over to Ronald’s home for a visit so I could meet his family. Ronald later told me that I was different than any lady he’d ever known....very open, with strong opinions, emotional, quite out spoken and a ‘go for broke’ and a ‘never give up’ belief in life. Not something he was used to and wasn’t totally sure how to react to his brother’s new wife. Over the years Ronald and I would have some quite involved, detailed and interesting discussions about a variety of topics, often having differing opinions and a variety of information with both of us learning more than we knew coming into any of the conversations.
Dale would tell me stories of experiences with his brothers as they grew up, how Ronald loved his family, his kids so much. One story was that when money was tight he would eat his dry cereal with water on it to make sure there was always milk for his kids to drink and have for their cereal. Dale would comment about how his brother had always been such a hard worker.
Dale worked for Ronald for a period of time after moving to California so they were together most days each week. Together they removed the engine in Dale’s truck , and then installed a new one. If one had a project the other one would pitch in to help. We would get together at times, often with Ronald's kids Bob and Sue along with their families, occasionally going out for dinner and a few ‘outings’. We once took our Motorhome, along with our new little Sheltie puppy Skipper, to drive down to the San Simeon area, visiting the Hearst Castle with Ronald, Esther, Bob’s family, Sue’s family, brother Bob and his daughter Susie and husband George. It was a memorable trip with family, something Ronald said he would always remember.
I remember how Ronald adored Sadie, his beloved dog that he found in the field across from his Machine Shop in Benicia. She one day just showed up at his shop, then would go back to the big field and would then come back to his shop over the next few days. Sadie sort of chose him to be her ‘human’ so Ronald soon decided to unofficially ‘adopt her’. What a life altering decision! This turned out to be a many year, mutually awesome, loving relationship. Sadie began to ride along everywhere Ronald went and came to work with him. In many ways they seemed to sort of ‘save’ each other.
After Dale developed a deadly, terminal brain tumor, a Glioblastoma Multiform, and over the months when it became obvious that we weren’t going to have the outcome we desperately hoped for, Ronald and his daughter Sue were there to help us whenever there might be a need. That help was tremendously appreciated!
After Dale died I was in a very bad place and Ronald stepped up to help even more. He was a great sounding board, helped sort the tons of mail that had piled up, brought Sadie over to play with our puppy Skipper and we’d go to Guadalajara Grill for a bite and visit about Dale.
Most of all, what was such a God send, so very helpful and so tremendously appreciated about Ronald was his great patience and support after Dale died!!! When I eventually went back to work I slept so solidly that I wouldn’t hear the alarm even though I set two of them. So to help out, Ronald would call me each morning to make sure I had woken up and was getting ready. Very often I would groggily answer the phone and then promptly fall back asleep with the phone in my hand and off the base so Ronald couldn’t call back to wake me again. This became quite a pattern and poor sweet Ronald would end up getting Sadie in his van and driving the 4-5 miles over to our house, ring the doorbell and pound on the door while little Skipper would begin barking and running around, jumping on the bed which finally woke me up and I’d stumble to the front door to let Ronald in, apologizing profusely for him feeling that he needed to drive over to get me up. He always said not to worry, that it was OK (which I knew it wasn’t but he was too sweet to growl at me). He would take Skipper out for a bit and give him breakfast while I got ready for work. This went on for several weeks until I finally stabilized my sleep patterns, my life and could get up with just the alarm. He was so very patient during this time when his morning schedule and time were thrown into disarray! What a guy!
I was, and will forever and ever be, grateful to Ronald for his care and support during such a difficult time, as well as Sue for her help with many issues both prior to, and afterwards, Dale’s death.
I eventually moved to Florida but as I would drive across the country each summer, most years I would stop by to visit Ronald and spend some time going out to eat or just reminiscing. Over time Janet had come into his life and after over 17 years I met and married another wonderful man so each year as we would continue to come to the West Coast any time we were in the Bay Area we would come visit Ronald and Janet. He and I would also visit on the phone two to four times a year.
I also envision the three brothers together now, recounting their youth, their adventures and lives, laughing and sharing jokes. What a picture! ... more
I have fond memories from my childhood visits with my dad's side of the family. Our family visits to see Aunt Esther and Uncle Ronald, Susan and Bob are some of my best memories; Cousin Susan always entertained my sister and me, cousin Bob telling stories from his Air Force experience's.
Ronald was such a tremendous help during the time my dad was battling cancer, I'm not sure Elaine could have managed without him.
Several years ago he reached out to me via phone call. We had not spoken much since my father's passing. The call started by him saying, "I bet you will never guess who this is!'' I knew in a heartbeat who it was. "I know exactly who this is, Uncle Ronald! " His voice had not changed at all from what I remembered. Since that time we would talk every six months or so, always sharing memories and getting caught up with current events. ... more
I have been reflecting on our dad. Ronald Wheeler was a good man, a caring man, a hard worker who took pride in doing a good job in whatever he did. He could talk. Oh goodness could he talk. I rec ently saw a report card of his dated 1939. He would have been 6 years old. He had satisfactory ratings in all categories but one. In the area of Dependableness he got a ‘Needs Improvement’ rating with a teacher note of “Talks”. That says a lot. He was born with the gift of talking. It was not a learned skill. He was curious. He always wondered how things worked. He believed that he could fix anything and, in my lifetime, more times than not he was right. He was willing to help just about everybody but there was a price. He always had a story. Some were okay, and many he told numerous times, some may have even stretched to truth from time to time. He believed that anything could be made to work better. Sometimes he didn’t know when to stop trying to make things work better, but he believed that his efforts were tied to his reputation. Reputation and dependability were always very important to him. Reputation was a measure of who he was.
He could run and jump and go without sleep for hours at a time. I remember many days playing catch. Somedays baseball and other days football. All of which made his last days very sad as he struggled to get around.
As I reflect, many of the elements that have made me who I am, I got from my dad. He wasn’t perfect but of course who is? He seldom forced us but rather he led by example. He will be remembered by many for being a man of honor, pride, and loving family. By others he will be remembered as a man of endless skills who could fix anything. I am very lucky that he was such an influence in the development of who I have become. ... more
We were so very sorry to hear about Uncle Ronald's passing and the difficulty you all faced not being able to be by his side in his last moments on earth. He was a man who made his mark in his industr y. He worked hard all his adult life to provide the best for his family, a man who made people, he met along the way, feel comfortable with his friendly manner and sense of humor. I didn't see you all very often because we lived so far away, but when we were together it was so much fun to sit and listen to uncle Ronald's tell his humorous stories and anecdotes. Some of the best times were when all the Wheeler Brothers were together , "The Grandpa Guys", as 5yr old Alyxx would call them . They would have us all laughing and having a great time. I like to think that they are all together right now having a good old time, swapping stories and teasing each other :-) We love you all and will continue to keep you in prayer. ... more
Caring thoughts to all the family over the loss of their Father and Grandfather.
Ronald was a hard worker and had a good sense of humor including cute sayings. One of his interests, a good skeet sho oter that loaded his own shells with the device he made.
Many fond memories that will be remembered. ... more