Ronald Wheeler... random thoughts and memories of Ronald by Elaine Wheeler Brickner

I first met Ronald over Labor Day weekend in 1987.
Dale, Ronald’s youngest brother, and I had recently gotten married in Portland, Oregon. At that time Dale was living in Concord and working in Benicia with Ronald but I needed to stay in Portland until I completed a project at work and sold the house. Luckily neither took too long to complete and I was able to move down to be with Dale.
We went over to Ronald’s home for a visit so I could meet his family. Ronald later told me that I was different than any lady he’d ever known....very open, with strong opinions, emotional, quite out spoken and a ‘go for broke’ and a ‘never give up’ belief in life. Not something he was used to and wasn’t totally sure how to react to his brother’s new wife. Over the years Ronald and I would have some quite involved, detailed and interesting discussions about a variety of topics, often having differing opinions and a variety of information with both of us learning more than we knew coming into any of the conversations.
Dale would tell me stories of experiences with his brothers as they grew up, how Ronald loved his family, his kids so much. One story was that when money was tight he would eat his dry cereal with water on it to make sure there was always milk for his kids to drink and have for their cereal. Dale would comment about how his brother had always been such a hard worker.
Dale worked for Ronald for a period of time after moving to California so they were together most days each week. Together they removed the engine in Dale’s truck , and then installed a new one. If one had a project the other one would pitch in to help. We would get together at times, often with Ronald's kids Bob and Sue along with their families, occasionally going out for dinner and a few ‘outings’. We once took our Motorhome, along with our new little Sheltie puppy Skipper, to drive down to the San Simeon area, visiting the Hearst Castle with Ronald, Esther, Bob’s family, Sue’s family, brother Bob and his daughter Susie and husband George. It was a memorable trip with family, something Ronald said he would always remember.
I remember how Ronald adored Sadie, his beloved dog that he found in the field across from his Machine Shop in Benicia. She one day just showed up at his shop, then would go back to the big field and would then come back to his shop over the next few days. Sadie sort of chose him to be her ‘human’ so Ronald soon decided to unofficially ‘adopt her’. What a life altering decision! This turned out to be a many year, mutually awesome, loving relationship. Sadie began to ride along everywhere Ronald went and came to work with him. In many ways they seemed to sort of ‘save’ each other.
After Dale developed a deadly, terminal brain tumor, a Glioblastoma Multiform, and over the months when it became obvious that we weren’t going to have the outcome we desperately hoped for, Ronald and his daughter Sue were there to help us whenever there might be a need. That help was tremendously appreciated!
After Dale died I was in a very bad place and Ronald stepped up to help even more. He was a great sounding board, helped sort the tons of mail that had piled up, brought Sadie over to play with our puppy Skipper and we’d go to Guadalajara Grill for a bite and visit about Dale.
Most of all, what was such a God send, so very helpful and so tremendously appreciated about Ronald was his great patience and support after Dale died!!! When I eventually went back to work I slept so solidly that I wouldn’t hear the alarm even though I set two of them. So to help out, Ronald would call me each morning to make sure I had woken up and was getting ready. Very often I would groggily answer the phone and then promptly fall back asleep with the phone in my hand and off the base so Ronald couldn’t call back to wake me again. This became quite a pattern and poor sweet Ronald would end up getting Sadie in his van and driving the 4-5 miles over to our house, ring the doorbell and pound on the door while little Skipper would begin barking and running around, jumping on the bed which finally woke me up and I’d stumble to the front door to let Ronald in, apologizing profusely for him feeling that he needed to drive over to get me up. He always said not to worry, that it was OK (which I knew it wasn’t but he was too sweet to growl at me). He would take Skipper out for a bit and give him breakfast while I got ready for work. This went on for several weeks until I finally stabilized my sleep patterns, my life and could get up with just the alarm. He was so very patient during this time when his morning schedule and time were thrown into disarray! What a guy!
I was, and will forever and ever be, grateful to Ronald for his care and support during such a difficult time, as well as Sue for her help with many issues both prior to, and afterwards, Dale’s death.
I eventually moved to Florida but as I would drive across the country each summer, most years I would stop by to visit Ronald and spend some time going out to eat or just reminiscing. Over time Janet had come into his life and after over 17 years I met and married another wonderful man so each year as we would continue to come to the West Coast any time we were in the Bay Area we would come visit Ronald and Janet. He and I would also visit on the phone two to four times a year.
I also envision the three brothers together now, recounting their youth, their adventures and lives, laughing and sharing jokes. What a picture!